


Promised smiles

by Ellstra



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 13:12:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4306404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellstra/pseuds/Ellstra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’m not letting you go just because you are better than we could ever be." </p>
<p>There was something else said between Harry and Eggsy before Merlin called.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promised smiles

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new to this fandom so it's a deep, passionate infatuation right now. Sorry (not sorry.)

_“You’re a fucking freak.”_

As Eggsy looked at it critically from a distance, it probably wasn’t right to say that. Not that it wasn’t true, mind you, but it was still kind of harsh considering… Well, he didn’t really mean it, did he? He could never mean anything like that when thinking about Harry Hart because Harry was a god and that was it. And yet he said it.

“Do you know how many people I killed on my missions?” Harry asked him in his usual, almost uninterested voice. Eggsy could feel the _almost_ gaping at him. Harry was affected by his words so much he actually let his guard down enough for Eggsy to see the crack in his protective walls. “Do you seriously even think you know me?”

“Those were missions,” Eggsy countered, “there was a fucking reason to do that. But what’s the point of shooting a dog?”

“I told you it was a blank, you fool,” Harry raised his voice. He actually did it. Eggsy was so bemused he stared open-mouthed for a moment before he remembered to even breathe. “I didn’t kill the dog.”

“But you shot him!” Eggsy screamed. “Or did you know it was a sodding blank? Like you know everything?!”

“I wasn’t sure, that I admit. But it didn’t seem logical to let us truly kill them, does it?” Harry composed himself again. “They made us train them and create bonds with them, all to waste such noble creatures?”

“Well, not everyone is a damn Harry Hart, the wisest of them all, to think about logical reasons when pointing a gun into their dog’s face.” Eggsy muttered and folded his arms on his chest.

“Well, not everyone is Eggsy, picking the most useless dog in the pack and yet clinging onto it the most,” Harry retorted. For a while, Eggsy wanted to be angry because _JB is not fucking useless, thank you very much_. But well, he had thought it was a pit-bull so…

“Did you think I would shoot him?” Eggsy inquired and looked away. He didn’t want to see the disappointment that was sure to appear on Harry’s face when he said yes.

“Frankly? No.” Harry shrugged, “You’re the best agent I’ve ever met, Eggsy, I swear to god, you’re better than everyone else exactly because you’re this… human. You’ll break every obstacle, pass every test but this one. Shooting someone you love for your own benefit.”

“If you knew I wouldn’t be able to become a Kingsman, why did you bring me here in the first place?” Eggsy mused. For a split second, he thought he saw some emotion on Harry’s face but it disappeared almost instantly.

_Because I owed your father that much. Because I couldn’t resist you the moment I saw you walk out of the prison. Because I wanted you to succeed. Because I wanted to be right. Because I wanted to see you in a fucking suit because you’re so damn beautiful._

“I hoped it wouldn’t come to that.” Harry said instead. All the others seemed too daring, too much to bother Eggsy with, too dangerous. Harry was never one to hide what his body desired, yet he never let it reach his heart. It was too risky and he was so frightened. He wondered what Eggsy would think if he knew what a coward his fearless hero is. “Sometimes it doesn’t. When there is just one candidate left after the last task.”

Eggsy remembered what Merlin had told him when as they watched Charlie struggle against the handcuffs that held him tied to the rail.

“It was a tight between my dad and the guy who was Lancelot before Roxy. Did my dad shoot a dog too?” Eggsy almost whispered the question as his voice threatened to break.

“No. The action he was killed in required more agents than were currently present and available. It was a busy week. We took the two candidates, determined to choose between them based on how they did on this mission.” Harry looked away from Eggsy for a moment. “If that were true, your father would be Lancelot. Hell, he’d be Galahad for how stupid I was.”

“Except he died,” Eggsy knew it was cruel. But it hurt so much, it hurt so much to realise that Harry was the reason his father left him so soon. Most of the time, Eggsy was able to ignore it but this was too much.

“Yes,” Harry was considerate enough not to say anything else. He watched Eggsy’s inner battle.

“You fucking idiot with your fucking nobility!” The youngster cried and punched Harry in the shoulder. “Will I ever get to see what’s truly inside your head?!”

“I’m sorry?” Harry furrowed his brow in astonishment.

“I just said the most hurtful thing I could think of and you’re still so fucking _stoic_. Are you even human?!” Eggsy pressed his lips together and bit them to stop himself from crying.

“Would you prefer if I shouted at you?” Harry raised an eyebrow at Eggsy.

“Yes.” Eggsy murmured defiantly. “No. I got no clue.”

They just stood there, staring at each other, refusing – or maybe not daring – to say anything else. Eggsy’s eyes wandered off after a few moments; he didn’t look at anything in particular but he couldn’t stand Harry’s look anymore. It was too much, now when he knew what a fucking useless piece of childish shit he was, throwing a tantrum like that. As if he didn’t make an idiot of himself enough.

“I’m sorry I disappointed you,” Eggsy mumbled, swallowing the words until they sounded just like a sob, “I’m sorry for not being who you believed I was. But I would never shoot JB.”

“And that’s why you’re the best of us, Eggsy.” Harry placed his hand gently on the youngster’s shoulder. It seemed like he was going to say something more when Merlin called them.

No, not them, just Harry because Eggsy had to hand those glasses back after one task and never received them back.

“I’ll go, Merlin,” Harry nodded even though Merlin couldn’t see him. Some habits never die, do they? “To Kentucky.”

“I’ve got to go,” Harry turned back to Eggsy. “Try not to piss more people off before I get back and solve this, okay?”

“What’s here to solve?” Eggsy asked. He didn’t dare to hope and confusion seemed like the second best option. They kicked him out, he stole a fucking car - being the little shit he always had been – out of spite, he shouted at Harry. He wanted to hurt Harry, _fuck_.

“You. I’m not letting you go just because you are better than we could ever be. Because you care.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the whole world. “Just wait for me, okay? Don’t do something stupid.”

“Promise.” Eggsy smiled a little. If Harry wasn’t mad at him, he was content enough. Even if he didn’t get to Kingsman, Harry thought he was worth fighting for. No way was he running away from that.

The smile Harry gave him back seemed significant and Eggsy’s brain burnt it into his memory for no apparent reason. Eggsy believed he was going to get many more of these in the future, so many he’ll lose count, as impossible as it seemed.

He never got to count a single one.

 

 


End file.
